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THE BULLY, THE BULLIED AND THE BYSTANDER"What happened at Columbine and the Red Lake Indian Reservation was mayhem, and we have mayhem in many communities in this country. Time and again, violence in schools is attributed to a ‘loner' or a ‘loser.' But we teach kids not to tattle on their peers. So they often endure painful childhoods, ashamed to mention if they've been bullied, afraid of retaliation. We have to give kids choices, provide them with different roles to play and hold them accountable," said Barbara Coloroso, a mother of three, former educator and internationally renowned author of The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander. Coloroso, who lives in Littleton, provided the keynote address during the mid-April kick-off of The Trust's new Bullying Prevention Initiative (see associated article on the Bullying Prevention Initiative). Having earned a solid reputation as an author and speaker in the areas of parenting, teaching, school discipline, non-violent conflict resolution and reconciliatory justice, Coloroso offered these definitions of bullying: * Bullying is about contempt for another human being. That means being a disengaged bystander is not an option. Coloroso further explained the difference between teasing and taunting, the latter being a form of bullying based on its intent to harm. She also opined that "zero-tolerance is zero-thinking," and described the distinction between punishment and discipline. "Discipline means keeping a child's dignity intact," she said. "You've got to make them feel good about owning the problem, fixing it and learning from it." Coloroso concluded her observations with high hopes for the new Trust initiative. "There's no quick fix, but we need to address bullying on the continuum of raising healthy kids. We need to teach them how to act with compassion, to step outside themselves, to increase the circle of caring." |
